Another study reported that children in gay and lesbian households are more likely to talk about emotionally difficult topics, and they are often more resilient, compassionate and tolerant. Where research differences have been found, they have sometimes favored same-sex parents.įor example, adolescents with same-sex parents reported feeling more connected at school. In fact, one comprehensive study of children raised by lesbian mothers or gay fathers concluded that children raised by same-sex parents did not differ from other children in terms of emotional functioning, sexual orientation, stigmatization, gender role behavior, behavioral adjustment, gender identity, learning and grade point averages. Most research studies show that children with two moms or two dads fare just as well as children with heterosexual parents. Although most children of same-sex couples are biological children of one of the parents, a growing number are the result of donor insemination, surrogacy, foster care and adoption. The rise in same-sex parenting is partially due to the increase in options available for same-sex couples to become parents. Some same-sex couples may decide to have a child within their relationship, while others may bring children from previous heterosexual or same-sex unions. It is difficult to obtain an accurate count of same-sex parent families because many lesbians and gay men are not open about their sexual orientation due to fears of discrimination, such as loss of employment, loss of child custody, and antigay violence. There are approximately 594,000 same-sex partner households, according to the 2000 Census, and there are children living in approximately 27 percent of those households. (Four percent answered “other.Studies estimate that between 1 and 9 million children in the United States have at least one parent who is lesbian or gay. Significantly, at least 74 percent had some religious affiliation, with 22 percent professing none. Martin’s survey sample was 88 percent white 35 percent had a college degree half the sample had household incomes below $50,000. “While a few do try to ensure that their children know a gay identity is acceptable, many more mothers actively parent to prevent homosexuality, and by far, these mothers belong to and are influenced by conservative religions.” “Few mothers actively parent for the possibility that their children could grow up to be gay,” she writes. In addition to other questions, Martin drew “at length from two particular questions: ‘Have you ever wondered if your child might grow up to be gay or lesbian?’ and its open-ended follow-up question, ‘Why or why not?’” “For many young children,” Martin finds, “gays and lesbians do not exist-the words, symbols, people, and relationships are not part of a child’s lexicon.” Martin writes that her study suggests that “mothers convey heteronormativity to children” from a young age, laying a foundation for “understanding and abiding the larger heteronormative context in which children will develop.” Why mothers and not fathers or other caregivers? Martin argues that “mothers are generally more responsible than fathers for children’s day-to-day sexual education.” Fathers are “more traditional in their gender socialization of children,” and men in general “report more homophobic attitudes than do women.” “Few mothers actively parent for the possibility that their children could grow up to be gay.” Parenting plays a role in reinforcing heteronormativity through the way heterosexual parents “monitor, manage, and imagine heterosexuality in their children.” Martin surveyed more than 600 heterosexual mothers to see how ordinary parenting can “normalize heterosexuality” by imparting certain assumptions, conversations, and strategies, including the “books, movies, and other culture to which they expose their children.” Martin defines as “ the mundane, everyday way heterosexuality is privileged and taken for granted as normal and natural.” Some describe this as heteronormativity, which sociologist Karin A. Heterosexuality is ideological in this way: Many heterosexual people never think about how they are raised, socialized, taught, and fitted into a hegemonic definition of sexuality. Even into the early 1920s, Merriam-Webster could still define heterosexuality as “a morbid sexual passion for one of the opposite sex.” Our current definition of heterosexuality as “normal” stems from the 1930s.īut what “normal” looks like changes through time. The word itself was only coined in the mid-1860s, when a Hungarian journalist came up with both “heterosexual” and “homosexual” during a debate over Prussian anti-sodomy laws. Heterosexuality has a history, and it’s not particularly ancient.